Twenty-six

Today is my 26th birthday.
Reflecting upon that, it is hard not to get caught up in the number. I am often times perceived as older than people think. Many times people gasp at how young I am in comparison to my perceived life stage. I find myself struck at times at the realization I am 26 years old and Married with Three kids. There is still a part of me that feels like such a kid myself, saturated still in the residue of youthful scoffing mindset that 30 is old. Yet here I find myself- the backside of my 20’s. And there is a part of me that twinges I feel old.

Beyond the span of the day which marks this milestone, today is really like any other. I feel inclined, of course, to pause and ponder the place I find myself at. In doing so, I realize I am always wondering what it is that’s coming up around that next bend in the road. When I look back to examine my life I am far more likely to wonder what I will be than to reflect on what I have become. Here on this blog I mostly reflect on the have’s, but my head always escapes to dreaming about the prospects of the future. An Idealist, yes. A Romantic, yes. I’m not sure if this is a good or a bad thing, but I can say some good has come of it. It allows me to look forward to getting older in terms of what I will get to do in the future. Only I don’t think of it in terms of ‘oldness’, more in terms of ‘what’s to come’. The season I am in is both incredibly rewarding and incredibly trying. Realistically, Child rearing takes up about a Third of your life. Do I dwell on the fact, now on my Birthday, that my life is a Third over, or that I have Two-thirds left? The Third over presumes I have lost something in the time that has passed. The optimistic Two-thirds dreams of the things I have the potential to get to do. It is the Third that has passed which makes me feel old. The Two-thirds that makes me revel in the prospects of doing all this while I am young.

I suppose I have reached the conclusion that what I have at this point is simply the fact that I am older. The fact that I have both what I have become and that I still have a lot of becoming ahead of me. Clearly there is a lot of becoming in the way of Christ-likeness. In each of my roles in life, I realize still I have a long, long way to go. I look forward to being improved in each of these areas and have confidence that God will continue to pour out his Grace and transformation on me. I look forward to seeing just what it is that God has in store for me. Since High School and into College, I would always write on the inside cover of a new sketchbook, “The more I live, the more I learn; the more I learn the more I realize the less I know” which has always held true. I suspect it always will, even when I do hit the formidable age of 30, and 40 and even 70. When it comes down to it, Age really doesn’t matter. It is simply a measure. This week I came across and have been reflecting on 1 Timothy 4:12 – I can be 26 and proud of it.

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~ by gdesign on August 27, 2008.

2 Responses to “Twenty-six”

  1. Happy belated Birthday!

    P.S. You’re not old. You’re 26 years young.
    P.P.S. I always tell my studens I am old, and they always make me feel old. I love the college student ego.

  2. Oh stop it. I am over 10 years older than you!

    Which means I have an older body that is still required to chase around a nearly-4 yr old girl, and a 7mth old boy, for the coming- what, 30 years?

    🙂

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