After talking with my Dr. yesterday morning and coming to terms with the fact that my body has not changed at all in the last three weeks and now at 40 weeks my circumstances are such that the chances of successful VBAC are quickly diminishing, it was decided that we will be meeting our baby g.3 daughter via scheduled c-section Today. Given my past prolonged labor history they (and we) felt that continuing to wait and see with the hope I might have a slim chance of spontaneously going into labor and being able to deliver this baby on top of the extreme fatigue and physical burden this pregnancy has become was not in mine or baby’s best interest. I am disappointed but honestly not that surprised.

I think that I have held onto too tightly the notion that a surgical delivery diminshes the transformative nature of having a baby. That is simply not true. This time the how is mattering a lot less, regardless of methodology, giving birth has been one of the most awesome, most raw, most emotional experience of my life. It transformed me in every way. I expect nothing less this time around, though we are being asked to walk a very different path as we electively go into surgery rather than have it be the very last option.

Over the weekend I have quite frankly flipped-flopped back and forth, toiling in the decision making, having differing perspectives on this arrival: One of somewhat mildly dreading it and the other looking forward to it. The anxiety of surgery remains; the overwhelming joy of meeting our newest daughter elates. I’m allowing myself to remain raw in the struggles in my emotions. Allowing myself to shove aside and give up the side of me that yearns to figure this all out and have an answer. Allowing myself to seek refuge in the sovereignty of a good and loving God and in Him alone. Praise Jesus for the work he has already done on me and in me through this process.

We will post updates and (of course) pictures as we are able!


~ by gdesign on August 13, 2008.

4 Responses to “g.3”

  1. We’re eagerly awaiting news and so happy that the time has finally arrived for your newest little! Can’t wait to hear what name you’ve picked!

  2. We’re praying for your family today as you welcome your newest addition!

  3. When I saw you weren’t online in any way, I thought something might be up. Congratulations on g.3, however she comes into the world I’m sure she’ll be a blessing. Wendy and I are excited for you.

  4. Congratulations Natalie and Matt! Pia is beautiful. I will be up to visit as soon as I can with my crazy weekend work schedule permitting, and when it is a good time for your family. Give Araiya and Tallis hugs for me!

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