Mom’s day

The weekend flew by, hectic and stressful. Sunday was impacted, so we did our best to celebrate Mother’s Day on Saturday. Often I feel let down by holidays like this, there is an overbearing pressure to celebrate with an extravagant amount of hoopla. I oscillate between wanting that and wanting to spend the whole day doing a whole load of nothing. When I get to sleep in, I feel we need to get out and do something fun. When we go out, I wonder if we should have just laid low and relaxed. This year was again a mix of both. I spurred us to go out Saturday for some sort of celebration, as I knew it wouldn’t happen on Sunday with the busy schedule already set. So we headed over to Remedy Teas for an early lunch.

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Other than the 150 organic teas and yummy food they have to choose from, they have a wonderfully clean modernist interior with some really wonderfully crafted details in the build out. I really dig the use of Chemistry bottles and test tubes. Totally my kind of place. This was the first time Matt had been here, and he noted it was yet another place on Capitol Hill that is really putting a nice emphasis on being Kid-Friendly. They offer a great little play area as well as an extensive kid’s menu and tea service. Araiya loves tea and was so tickled to have her own little teapot and cup. I love places like this that are just comfortable to hang out in.

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The rest of Saturday involved a nice long nap for Tallis while the rest of us ripped out the forrest of grasses and weeds that has suddenly taken over the front of our house. Then we brought chocolate cake to some friends who just had a baby and had dinner with another couple at their chic little condo in Queen Anne. Busy, filled up with wonderfully fun activities. Of course, the yard work set my allergies off, so Sunday morning I woke up completely congested, watery, and sneezy. I did get a chance to sleep in while Matt and Araiya made me whole-grain waffles.

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But it was hard to get over my misery of the constant histamine reactions I was having. Matt thought it might have been the sweater I was wearing, but even after ditching that after church, I was so impacted by my allergies, I (and everyone else) ended up laying down for a several-hour nap that afternoon. It has continued, as I had a miserable night and this morning have a terrible allergy headache and stuffy nose. All I really want to do is lay in bed all day. Alas, Motherhood is a 24/7/365 job, which this bout of allergy attacks has reinforced. Reflecting on Mother’s day has reinforced that this parenting thing is just not about them growing up, but about me growing up. Each day I wake up, allergies or no allergies, I have an opportunity to pour my love into them to see them flourish and grow. Sure, I would rather take a me day and pull the covers over my head, but that is the lazy selfish me being pressed against the realization my life does not have the option of being all about me and my propensity to throw in the towel when things feel hard. Motherhood is stretching me and growing me and making me painfully aware of the shallow things I am inclined to do and hold onto.

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I have opportunities with these girls that I would otherwise miss if I let the feelings that this is too hard get in the way. I would miss out on so many of the things this journal has captured- their smiles, their happiness, their changes. Matt asked me last night what I enjoyed most about being a mom. I told him watching these kid’s enjoy and reciprocate the things I enjoy and do with them. The small ways they have begun to pick up how I show my love for them. The way Araiya comes and snuggles with me in bed each morning and says ‘I love you too’, the way Tallis exactly copies Araiya in trying to feed me some play food they have made up, the way Araiya says exact phrases I use in her cute little two-year-old voice, how Tallis grins her goofy grin and cuddles into my neck throwing her little arms around my neck and smacking her lips trying to give me kisses. I realized my answer focused on all the things that are rewards. But they don’t come without the equal appreciation for the frictions and growing pains. This is supposed to be hard, I should be expecting to meet trials in this journey, so why am I still so caught up these little jarring bumps in the road? I appreciate that each of these trials are an opportunity to grow past the difficulty and really love them well despite the external friction. Because that, even more than the good fun times we have, is what I want them to glean from their Mother’s love- the perseverance of that love. Even earlier this morning, as I am lying in bed awaiting the Tylenol to kick in, is an opportunity to show Araiya how to love Mommy when she is not feeling well, and for Mommy to resolve to show that love Araiya despite ailments. Because loving one another is about doing things we aren’t naturally inclined to do. Though I do so much enjoy the pleasure I see Araiya getting of learning to make Waffles with Matt, I was much more touched by Araiya rubbing my forehead this morning and making sure her sister didn’t climb all over me.

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~ by gdesign on May 12, 2008.

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