Jonny Cash’s HURT
(written by Trent Reznor)

I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that’s real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
upon my liar’s chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

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We hold too strongly onto the idea that the tissue, the flesh, is what makes us who we are. In reality, only when that is peeled away do we see the truth and sustenance that lies beneath. Only in what seems to be decay does the real beauty of our structure become revealed. So we must conclude that the essence is not external, outward acts, but inner core structure being simultaneously built up by being eroded off. This process is one that reveals or expresses something beyond ourselves, that is there and continues to be there even as the perceived lushness of the green leaf fades into corroded brown. An odd paradime- that one must expel the sustenance of a leaf in order to reveal the true sustaining beauty of that which is at the core of the leaf. Can we give up of ourselves to expose that which builds us into what we are and be satisfied in it? Apart from that core structure there would be nothing left, therefore no meaningful resultant to be celebrated and enjoyed. Without it, we are indeed reduced to a pile of dirt. How much do we celebrate the leaf as just the leaf, completely missing the lasting and ultimately lasting beautiful structure? Though we must give up and hurt in order to gain what really matters.

Philippians 3:8 “I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish in order that I may gain Christ.”

Means to count everything as loss now in the fleshly portion of the leaf in comparison to the value of gaining the beauty exposed which lies beneath.
Means decay serves to magnify and reveal and express this greatness – when that act of decay comes from an inner experience of treasuring and putting that structure above the temporal lushness of the flesh.
The authenticating, inner essence of valuing this core structure is being satisfied with it, cherishing higher the lasting beauty and truth of what builds the leaf upon itself.


I desire to attain the transparent, the delicate, the lacy, the intricate, the reduced. Revealed.


~ by gdesign on April 17, 2008.

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